First Day of Pre-School: 8-6-2012

Today we dropped my favorite little guy off on a new adventure....Pre-school. There were no tears, just giddiness and excitement. We had to remind him to hug us and tell us goodbye. As he trotted off to the playground to find his old friend Riley, and meet many new ones, I knew his little world had just expanded. As we drove around to the playground to get one final peek--he was holding hands with Riley on the slide. He is right where he needs to be. Take care him new world. He is my most precious gift.

We sure are proud of you Owen!  I love you kid...

Mickey's Rocket--Owen's 4th Birthday Cake

So every year I make Owen's birthday cake from scratch...whatever he wants.  I started off with pretty high standards of cakes past, and probably shot myself in the foot in the process.  This year, Owen wanted Mickey's Rocket.  Seemed easy enough.  EEESH.  I think this one got the best of me! 

So here is what Mickey's Rocket looks like for those of you who don't have a Micky obsessed kiddo:

I had lofty aspirations to have it standing tall, surrounded by sand and moon rocks.  Apparently I have watched Ace of Cakes too many times and thought I was Duff.  Let me assure you, I am No Duff! 

I started off making a prototype out of cake. It leaned a bit, so I thought I would add dowel rods.  That didn't work so on to Plan B....

Plan B was to make it out of Rice Krispie treats. That didn't work either. At first they didn't stick together, then they were too hard. OK---Plan C.

Plan C...carved football cake!

I bought a football shaped pan and molded from there. The cake was of course orange. I cut off the end of the "football" to create the rocket ship shape.

 I iced on the stripes, and made red "sand" out of food coloring and sugar.

Mickey's rocket landed on Mars, surrounded by the red sand and Moon rocks (cake balls) made by EE. Shredded Twizzlers made the flames of the rocket, and Owen's Mickey friends finished it off.

Overall, it turned out OK...for the third try! The kids loved it, so that's the most important part! Now...what to do for next year....

Happy Birthday Owen! My Sweet 4 year old boy!!

4th Birthday...ALREADY???

Wow how time flies!  My little guy is already FOUR YEARS OLD?  How did that happen?  Where did the time go?  I wish I could remember every moment of every day with him as a little guy (ok, maybe not EVERY moment).  He is still such a sweet and funny boy.  He cracks me up every single day.  He is so smart.  He knows his address, phone number, all of our first and last names, can count to 30, identify all of his letters and numbers, and is learning to spell and write.  He loves to sing-Jake and the Neverland Pirates CD is is current favorite, although he does a mean Johnny Cash!  His favorite shows are Octonauts, along with old favs Jake and Doc McStuffins.  He loves to play outside, swims like a fish, plays cars and rockets, and he still loves to RUN and the color orange. 

The end of May 2012 marked the end of an era for Owen as he graduated from the daycare he attended since he was 11 months old.  He is spending this summer with Daddy, going to swim lessons and camps, and having fun.  In a few weeks he will start preschool at a Montessori school nearby, along with his BFF Riley.  We are excited for him to move forward in his education and socialization, though it was sad to leave the person who took such great care of him...and sad to see him growing up so fast. 

11 months ago Owen became a big brother, and what an amazing brother is is!  I always knew he would be!  He loves his baby sister and takes such good care of her.  He covers her with her blanket to make sure she's not cold.  He gives her toys and things to play with.  He loves feeding her and sharing his yogurt and applesauce.  He watches over her to be sure she doesn't fall or get hurt, and is very protective when others are around her.  I sure hope this continues as they get older!

I can't wait to see what this next year brings.  I am so happy being your mom Owen! 
I love you kid.  All the way to the skies and back down!

I Can't Hear!

ME: Owen, please sing quietly to yourself.
OWEN: (Whispering) Like this?
ME: Yes, thank you.
OWEN: But I can't hear it.
ME: Yes you can.  I can still hear you, so you can hear yourself.
OWEN: No I can't.  My ears are taking a break, so I can't hear. 

I had no response to that. 

Favorite Things

Every night I ask Owen what was his "happy/favorite thing" of the day.  We write it in a little journal so he will be able to look back and remember when seeing the trash truck made his day.  Saturday his favorite thing was going to "O Maybe".  I think he meant Old Navy. 

My favorite thing of the day was listening to him say "O Maybe" over and over.

My other favorite thing was when he asked me for some ice water because "I'm running out of hydrate". 

He makes me nuts these days...but I sure do love that kid!

The Other "F" Word....

FORGIVENESS.

They say forgiveness is for you, not the other person...for the forgivER, not the forgivEE. Turns out that's true. Turns out forgiveness is easier said than done. Turns out that even if forgiveness is something you want, something you search for, something you try for, with each step forward, there are also steps back. Turns out forgiveness is elusive.

I WANT to forgive.
I NEED to forgive.
I think (maybe) I CAN forgive.
Seems I just don't know HOW to forgive.

See--Elusive.

They also say that forgiveness is accepting that the past, and therefore the present, couldn't have been any different. This is where I run into trouble. We all have the free will to make choices in life. Our choices alter the paths of our lives, and in turn, the lives of those around us. Our choices created the past that lead to the present. Had you made different choices, the present could be very different. To accept that it couldn't have been any different, somehow lessens your responsibility in the situation. As if it couldn't have been helped. It could have been helped, and that's the part I can't forgive. But, it is what it is, so that is my starting point.

One day a few months ago I started thinking: How can I teach my children about forgiveness, if I cannot do it myself? How can I teach them about being a family, if I also turn my back? How can I teach them about respect, if I cannot show it to someone who doesn't give it? How can I teach them about boundaries, if I don't create them for all of us? How can I teach them about being the bigger person, the kinder person, if I don't show them how to carry themselves? How do I teach them to do the right thing, even if you don't want to?  How can I teach them to do all of these things, even especially when you think you are the one who is right. How will you teach your children all of these things? I opened the door. What will you do?  How will you teach her these things?

My forgiveness is not for you. It is for me. It is for them. All (soon-to-be) THREE of them. Two that I love more than words, and One that I hope to someday get to meet. One that will hopefully, someday, know how much we love her and want to know her. It was them that started me thinking. It was them that started me forgiving. It was them that made me brave enough to open the door. It is for them that I am willing to try to find answers, or at least a peace. What that resolution looks like, I don't yet know. But I do know this: for them, I must try. 

But I wonder if she will change you, just as they changed me. How can she not? I guess we will know soon enough.

I still don't trust you. I still don't see a close relationship with you.   That still makes me sad.  Still makes me mad.  Someday, there will have to be a conversation.  There will have to be answers and accountability.  But I see who you are.  Clearly.  I see myself better now too.  I have surprised myself.  I don't know what to hope for because I am not sure what my own heart wants, or what I am willing to give.  All I can control is what I can give, so until that is defined, I tread very, very lightly. I don't expect anything. But I know who you are now. I see you. Clearly.

So can I forgive? I guess that's up to me.  I can now say that while I still hate what you have done to us, I no longer hate you, so I guess that's a start...

Piper is 6 Months Old!!

My sweet baby girl is growing so fast....she is already 6 months old!  She is bigger than Owen was, though she's still pretty small.  She looks like Owen in pink.  She laughs out loud a LOT!  She thinks I am hilarious!  She rolls to her sides, but doesn't roll all the way over (she did once, but that was by accident).  She isn't showing any signs of scooting, and is very content to chill in one place.  She is close to sitting up, and loves to eat her big girl food.  I make all her baby food, just as I did for Owen. 

She has the chunkiest, juicest thighs and knees.  She loves to eat her toes, and her feet are constantly in her mouth.  She still wakes up twice a night to eat, and still likes to be swaddled when sleeping.  She smiles HUGE smiles every time her daddy walks into the room, and he can't help himself but to play the smile game with her.  She follows Owen's every move around the room, and man that kid loves her! 

She is infatuated with my phone, typing on my computer, holding the TV remote, and all things gadgety.  Maybe she'll be a tech nerd and makes tons of money!  Her hair is growing back and she has the sweetest girly eyelashes.  She is pretty chill and doesn't fuss unless hungry or tired.  She talks a LOT to her passy, puppy, owl, or anyone who will listen.  She loves to snuggle with me and I can't get enough of her. 

Happy 6 month birthday P-Pie!  Your momma sure does love you~