ME: Owen, what is all over your mirror? (Clearly a soapy handprint)
OWEN: I don't know. Maybe spider poop?
ME: You think so, huh?
ME: You seem to be feeling better today, I think you can go to school tomorrow.
OWEN: But I'm still sick.
ME: I think you're fine.
OWEN: Mom, do I have shrimp?
ME: Shrimp? Do you mean strep?
OWEN: Yeah.
ME: No baby, it's just a cold.
Watching The Little Mermaid
OWEN: Mom, who is that big lady?
ME: That's the Sea Witch.
OWEN: Why is she a sandwich?
Giving Owen his breakfast:
ME: Here's the toast you wanted.
OWEN: Thanks mom, I pre-kay-she-ate-it.
He meant appreciate it, and it's the thought that counts!
Man I think my kid is funny.
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