474

That's how many days our little family was turned on it's side. Not a long time in the grand scheme of things, but not a short time while living it either. It was just long enough to become our "new normal", for a while anyway. I remember the day. I remember the exact date. I remember where I was when my wonderful hubby called me to tell me he just got laid off. My first thought, my first words, were "what are we going to do". Really, neither of us had a clue what to do. But what we did, for the next 474 days, was whatever we had to do to hang in there. We downsized where we could; we filed for unemployment; we relied on our savings; and we treaded water.

I learned a lot about the welfare system in our country. I have worked in the welfare system, and worked with people in the welfare system my entire adult life, but never, not once did I expect to be ONE OF THEM. I learned that even though unemployment benefits help-and by help I mean KEPT US A FLOAT-they are by no means going to keep your "ends meeting". But you can't do anything extra, say a part time job to make your ends meet, because you then loose your benefits. It's a desperate place to be...you can't work a little because you will make too much and loose everything, and you can't do nothing, because then you will make too little.

Everyone always asks me...how did you make it almost a year and a half on a social worker salary? Well, we cut back where we could...it's amazing how much you can cut back when there really is NO choice. And the rest...well, like I said, we did what we had to do. We chose to keep Owen in school, because that was best for him, but everything else was greatly downsized. We have wonderful friends and family who helped us out a lot here and there, bought us countless dinners and happy hour specials, and did some free babysitting the few times we were able to get out. I am so very grateful to have such generous and amazing people in our life! There really aren't enough "thank yous". For family outings we took to walking around Target with some popcorn-one of Owen's favorite things to do-as a way of getting out of the house without spending money. Basically, we shifted. No point in staying in freak-out mode, especially if you are in for a long ride. So, we just shifted. And remarkably, we did so without anger, arguments, or adversity. Major rule to live by...only one of you gets to freak out at a time. If you sense your significant other about to freak out, you pull it together and save your freak out for later. One at a time is very important.

I learned a lot about marriage, sharing, money management, and our strengths as a couple in those 474 days. Many couples fight over everything. Many fight over nothing. Many fight over money, and many fight just because there is stress all around. But we didn't. Not to say we get along perfectly all the time...we just handled this better than I would have thought we could, and better than I think many would. I think it says a lot about our little family that we can say we made it. We made it together. And although hubby and I have been together A LOT in the past 4 months since I started working from home, we do, in fact still like each other. We do still WANT to be around each other. Maybe not as much as we have been, I mean who are we kidding, there isn't anyone I want to be around 24/7! A little alone time does a person good! But at the end of the day, we do still enjoy each other's company.

And 474 days later, when he rolled an apple with "Mr. Higgins" written on it past my desk, I was so proud of him. So proud of us. We had many close calls over the past year...so many jobs we thought "this is the one". But the right one didn't show up until 2 weeks ago. It took 474 days because THIS job is THE RIGHT ONE. Mr. Higgins, you are going to be an EXCELLENT teacher! Those kids, like Owen and I, are very lucky to have you.

Yeah, a person can learn a lot in 474 days. For us, it was one day at a time. It was like standing still in many, many ways, but in the end I am so proud of us, so thankful for our relationship, and grateful that our strengths and weakness work together for the greater good of our family. And finally, I am SO thankful that those 474 days are behind us and we can now look to the next chapter of our lives.